Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to completely get through these times. I truly long for longstanding happiness and a sense of having some idea of what my future holds. Carpe diem has been my new motto and while it does seem to help, I still have moments when I just really have to wonder what will happen to myself and my children down this new path we are taking. Today is April 19th. Nearly one month into spring! I forget that I live in the frozen tundra and vowed weeks ago when we had the house open due to warm weather, that I was no longer going to turn on my furnace.
Today, it is snowing! A winter storm warning is in effect until 10:00 AM tomorrow morning. I drove home from work at the hospital in the ice and snow like I have done thousands of times before. Only today, things were different. As I am driving around a curve very mindful of the icy road conditions (traveling at a reasonably slow speed of about 25 MPH, I came upon a curve on Lax Chapel road about 4 miles south of my home. As I turn right, the car continues straight and everything went into slow motion. I knew it was going to happen and not unlike my recent life experiences, I found myself in yet another situation that was completely out of my control…. and into the ditch I went. This ditch was a ditch that was about 5 foot deep and filled with water. My car is at a 45 degree angle, and filling with water as I struggle to the passenger side to get out. It was very difficult getting out of the passenger side as the door was immensely heavy at that angle and in doing so, it slams into my head leaving a nice bump. I just got out of my car and started to walk to the center of the road hearing another car fast approaching from the same direction. I ran toward the car, waving my hands, only to watch him hit the same bit of ice and slam hard into the back end of my car. I’m just glad I wasn’t closer to my car when it happened or I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here typing right now.
We both ended up on the road, trying to slow traffic from both directions for about 20 minutes me not having any cell coverage to make a call (thanks ATT!) when to my elation, Bonnie (my soon to be ex-wife’s mother) drives up on her way back to her home. Thank you thank you thank you! She drove me home and I am still waiting for the tow truck to call me back so I can go and get the car pulled out to assess the damage. I know it wont be good as there is a lot of water damage on the inside right now…
My life really seems to suck these days! While I truly appreciate the good times and I know that I am very fortunate in many ways, I often wonder why these things happen to us. As I reflected on these aspects of my life, Bonnie was telling me a story that she learned in church recently in that we are all facing trials in our life very similar to what Christ did in his short life. Ours are more manageable in comparison, but they still feel insurmountable to us at times. I was so happy to have Bonnie there for me when I needed help. In many ways she has been there for me for the last 20 months of the hard times….actually for over 25 years now when I think about it…. My life isn’t so bad after all! She dropped me off at my driveway; I got out, thanked her and opened the mail box reaching in for the top letter… another bill from my divorce lawyer.. Nice!
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