The words I try to live by….. I know I don’t always feel this is the answer for me and my life, but I have used it so many times in the recent past when having to deal with situations that are completely out of my control and it seems to work. I had the words affixed to my refrigerator door and talked to the kids about it when our family was hurting the most and it seemed to help. I have heard these words for nearly all my life as they are words that have become a part of the very fabric of Alcoholics Anonymous, an organization I became all too familiar with after my father “joined the club” when I was a young teenager. I really only knew the first paragraph by heart and wasn’t even aware of the second part, which I feel has become the most applicable to our family’s situation.
Over the last two years, I have become familiar with at least 4 more people that were friends or acquaintances that have been forced to deal with the infidelity of their spouses and surprisingly they have come to me, of all people, for advice. One thing I recommend to all of them is to memorize this prayer and try to live by it in their daily life. It helps to try and focus on moments in time; then days; then weeks… It’s futile to try and extrapolate one’s life into the far too distant future in these situations. This can really be held true in any difficult situation we face during our lifetime.
Today, I learned that future plans I had would not be be realized. Although it is disappointing to me, I know that there is nothing I am able to do about it and that if I dwell on that disappointment, it will get me nowhere with my life. Instead, I will focus on the tasks that are before me today and try my best to get through them as best I can. I am happy today and that is all that is important to me. Tomorrow will come tomorrow.
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
–Reinhold Niebuhr
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